Should I Tell the Coach My Child Has ADHD?

An honest question from one of our soccer parents—and the heartfelt answers that followed

In our Ohio Soccer Moms and Dads community, we’re often reminded of just how powerful it can be when parents feel safe enough to ask the hard questions. Recently, a parent messaged us with one such question. They gave us permission to share it anonymously:

“Should I tell my son’s coach that he has ADHD? He’s 9, takes daily medication, and has done great in travel soccer for two years. This spring, he joined a more competitive club team. First two games went fine, but the third game was rough. His coach yelled at him a lot—about positioning and movement—and they were all legit things, but I could tell it was just one of those days. My wife wants me to say something to the coach, but I’m not sure what good it would do. We usually keep him home if it’s going to be a tough day. He’s also really self-conscious about ADHD. I just don’t know what a coach could actually do differently—or what coaches even know about ADHD. What would you do?”

The response from our community was overwhelming. Dozens of parents and coaches weighed in—not to argue, but to support.

Here are just a few of the real replies that stood out:

💬 “Leave the rest to me.”

– Hannah R., Soccer Mom

“Mom here of a U11 elite goalie who suffers from anxiety and seizures. We were very worried that she would be held back because of these factors, but that has not been the case at all. We were honest with her coach, told him she knows her limits, and he basically said: ‘Leave the rest to me.’ We trained him on her rescue meds, and he has literally taken her under his wing. Being honest helped her and the coach—because now he knows what methods work best. She’s thriving, and he checks in regularly!” (Shoutout to Coach Matt from LFC United Hilliard—an absolute blessing to their team!)

🗣 “I just like to know.”

– Coach Matthew E.

“As a coach, I just like to know so I can be aware and adapt how I coach or talk with a player. I always want parents to tell me what works and what doesn’t.”

🧩 “We’ve always just spoken to the coach.”

– Sarah E., Soccer Mom

“We have a kid on the spectrum with focus challenges. We always speak with the coach at the beginning—explain strengths and areas where a different coaching approach might help. It’s also been good for our son to learn how different coaches work, instead of trying to make them all coach him the same way. As he’s gotten older, it’s helped him better understand his own brain and learn how to advocate for himself.”

🌟 “Your child deserves to be seen.”

– Diesha W., Soccer Mom

“A good coach will appreciate the information and use it to help your child succeed. If sharing this info leads to anything negative—leave. From a parent of an ADHD kid: Your child deserves to be seen for the amazing kid they are. Neurodiverse kids face challenges that others don’t—but they also have strengths that others don’t. Soccer—and life—should make room for both.”

🤝 “It helps me be a better coach.”

– Coach Julia P.

“When parents share information like this, it helps me be a better coach and mentor. Our job is to understand how to reach all types of athletes. I’m always happy to get pulled aside after practice or take a quick call—no need to overthink it.”

Final Thoughts

What struck us most about this exchange is how simple honesty—shared respectfully—can open doors for understanding and support. Every coach and kid is different, but most of the time, good communication builds better relationships on and off the field.

If you’re navigating a similar situation, you’re not alone. Whether it’s ADHD, anxiety, autism, or anything else, our kids deserve coaches who see them—and it’s often up to us as parents to help make that possible.

Before opening this up to the group I did respond to the coach with how I think I would handle it based on the individual situations I've had with my own 6 kids throughout the years. I suggested talking with his son and helping him create some habits that help him manage his preparation for games and practices I also suggested he ask his son what he would be comfortable sharing with the coach. I do think as a coach and parent that it's important for every person responsible for kids to know when a child is on daily medication or if there is emergency medicine prescribed. Maybe a coach doesn't need to know specifics but in the case of an emergency it would be important for a coach to quickly be able to tell an emergency responder "he takes medication for ADHD" or "she has a history of seizures controlled by medicine" etc...

I just love seeing our soccer community coming together in such a loving and positive way, good job everybody!

💬 Want to share your experience or ask a question? Join us in the Ohio Soccer Moms and Dads Facebook group—or message us anonymously and let the community help.

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