This Season Will Hit Different

This year feels different. My oldest has graduated, and I can feel all the sad and all the excitement at the same time. I’ve joked that now that he’s moved on, I’ll just be crying for the next 10 years as my six kids graduate and move on one after the other.

This past year was full of “lasts.” His last high school soccer season. His last first day of school. His last last day of school. His last club soccer season. His last club games. I was lucky enough to travel with him one last time this summer to Seattle for the ECNL U19 National Championships. I drove the same kids I’ve been driving for the last decade, listening to the same silly stories and inside jokes — knowing it would be the last time.

Now he’s playing in college, and I’m not there. Youth soccer is over for him. But I’m lucky, because I have four more kids playing this year — all for the same teams, with many of the same teammates. They’re all a little taller now, but in many ways, things are still the same. And because I know what it feels like when it ends, I can appreciate each day more — every practice, every game, every small win.

For many years, I chased the “perfect” soccer experience for my kids — the best trainers, the highest level teams, the biggest tournaments. I thought if I curated the right combination, I could control the outcome. But here’s the truth I’ve learned: your child’s soccer experience is theirs, not yours. You can guide them, you can support them, but you can’t live it for them. And when you try, you miss the best parts.

As this season starts, whether your kid is on the first team, the second team, or just happy to be out there — be their biggest fan, not their sideline coach. Celebrate the effort, the friendships, the moments they’ll remember 10 years from now.

And about that “car ride home” rule? I know the experts say not to talk about the game right after it ends, but honestly… that’s not real life. It’s unnatural to sit through two hours of soccer and then pretend it didn’t happen. The trick is to let them lead the conversation. If they want to rehash every play, listen. If they want to talk about lunch, talk about lunch. If you say anything, make it simple: “I loved watching you play.”

The season will go by faster than you think. One day, you’ll watch your last youth soccer game and wish you could stand on that same sideline again, hearing those same silly stories on the drive home. Don’t waste this season trying to control it. Live it, love it, and let them own it.